Archive for November, 2008

If I were a towel

If I were a towel it’d feel good to be washed and folded.  Washing would get all the soapy scum and dirt I’ve cleaned off bodies.  I’d smell fresh and clean, be nice and warm from the dryer.  My fibers would get all fuzzy and soft.  Getting folded feels orgasmic.  I scream out with pleasure as I’m creased and smoothed into a small square waiting to get used again.

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Cops love me

My wife and I have been looking for a new apartment.  Thursday, I went and viewed two apartments.  On my way back to the office after viewing the apartments I was driving towards 28 when a cop flew by in the other lane with sirens a-blaring.  I jokingly thought to myself, “gee I hope he isn’t looking for me…” and continued on my way.  As I sat at a stop sign waiting to turn, three cops zoomed out of nowhere and screeched to a halt in the middle of the intersection, facing me.  They glared at me for a second and then scrambled out of their cruisers.  “Oh god, what the hell did I do this time?!” I thought to myself.  After a few minutes of milling about and talking to each other, the cops returned to their cruisers and left.  Guess they just wanted to freak out some random kid.

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Bailout bill /fail

Do I really have to say anything? What did you expect?

The struggling Wall Street bank has set aside £7billion for salaries and 2008 year-end bonuses, it emerged yesterday.

Each of the firm’s 443 partners is on course to pocket an average Christmas bonus of more than £3million.

The size of the pay pool comfortably dwarfs the £6.1billion lifeline which the U.S. government is throwing to Goldman as part of its £430billion bail-out. article because the American media won’t cover it.

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