We headed downtown to Sixth Street for a little partying and drinking in preparation for the big game. Downtown was crowded and filled with the smell of drunken college kids vomiting in the shorts. The bars were over packed and filled with worthless Texans. The older ones offered us luck and told us to spend some money. The younger told us to fuck off and waved their horns at us. We heard Free Fallin’ by Tom Petty for the 27th time in two days as we found a bar populated with OSU fans. We sang some buckeye songs and drank some booze.
In an exhausted drunken stupor, we left the bar to somehow to find our way back to the hotel. We couldn’t make the 500-block walk back to our hotel, so we decided to take a taxi. However, Texas doesn’t believe in normal taxis because we found it damn near impossible to track one down. We did find several “bike taxis,” think rickshaws only with a bike attached. We drunkenly commissioned, rather suckered, two of these bikes to take us back to the hotel. We challenged our drivers to race each other, cheering, leering, and swearing at one another. The drivers would only take us half way to our hotel, but at the end of our trek we were shown Leslie, the transvestite that ran for mayor. He was dressed like a garish Elton John and twice as flaming. Apparently, he did quiet well in the election. Those crazy Texans.
When we arrived back at our hotel, we felt like going for a swim, but the pool was closed for the night. We had Mouse sweet-talk the ladies at the front desk into unlocking the pool for us. It worked like a charm.
The next day we awoke around noon and scraped together some food. None of us we were hung over. Around four we headed downtown to take in some festivities. After the walk from the night before, Mouse decided that it was best if we drove, so we all piled back into the car for the ride downtown. We spent the better part of the hour trying to find parking close to the OSU pep booster we planned to attend. Finally, we found a parking garage that didn’t seem to have any enforcement, and after much debate and arguing about being towed, the decision was made. Fuck It.
We ventured to an outdoor bar hosting the OSU event. We finally found a large number of OSU fans after seeing very little the night before. Drinks we were ridiculously priced, I think they we trying to take advantage of our good Columbus nature. The atmosphere was rather bland and people weren’t very excited, but that would soon change. They began to notice us. Well, more specifically, Mouse. We had given Mouse a gift of appreciation before we left Columbus; a leather OSU football helmet. If you know Mouse, you know why we gave this to him. Everyone loved it and wanted to know where they could find one. This helped draw a crowd to us. I saw the potential to improve the party. I started, “OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO, I wanna go back to Ohio State, to Old Columbus town!” Soon after everyone was laughing, singing, and cheering. It started to rain, so we moved on to our next event.
The alumni association had arranged a pub-crawl in a different part of town that was slightly more respectable than the downtown college area. We headed off towards the first bar on the list. Along the way, we were taunted and cursed at by the younger Austinites for wearing our OSU garb.
We arrived at the first bar, a somewhat classy and upscale place, well about as classy as Texas gets anyway. The fine patrons were mostly dressed in “nice” jeans, cowboy boots and button downs, with the standard Texan 10-gallon hat. We showed up in shorts and t-shirts clashing their style. Before we entered, we gazed into the window debating about whether or not to go in since we were treated so rudely on the street. We didn’t know how our reception would go in this place. We decided, fuck it.
Upon entering, all eyes moved to us and the conversation stopped. Mouse yelled, “Go Buckeyes!” and the bar erupted into frenzy again. They didn’t seem to mind. We all ordered some drinks and started to converse with the Texans. A familiar pattern seemed to arise. They all told us to “SPEND MONEY!” Apparently, this is the only reason they were friendly to us.
Growing bored with this small bar and its sad and delusional crowd we moved onward to the next bar a few blocks away. This was a large patio style bar that was jammed packed with people, roughly half OSU and half Texans. A few beers were drank, random people talked to and small world connections were found, as in all bars. One waitress caught my eye; she was very attractive. I conned her into taking a picture with me. As the sun began to set we moved to the third bar on the list.
The third bar had a “wood” theme I guess it could be called. Everything was made out of natural lumber. It was a very nice place to get drunk in. We moseyed up to the bar. I was overwhelmed by the number of local and craft beers they had on draft. I decided to make it a personal goal to try each one.