ThinkTwisted

Its a lot like Canada, just without the accent.

What if the world were made of pudding?

My mother-in-law and friend came to visit us this weekend.  They are doing some sort of driving tour up and down the east coast to visit people.  Anne has been teaching in China for the past year or two.  She wanted to visit everyone before going back for another year of teaching.

Anne told me a story about her confirmation into the Catholic church.  When she was little they used to confirm kids in the fourth grade, talk about getting them while they’re young.  She remembered walking down the aisle and seeing the children in front of her getting their sacrament.  As she watched the other children being confirmed she noticed something odd.  All the children were being smacked up side the face!  Welcome to the school of hard knocks, bitch!  Anne became nervous as she approached the bishop but did not sway.  She received her thwack!  She has been traumatized ever since.

We discussed the approach of the Catholic church.  They seem to get you while you’re young.  You have no choice.  They suck you in and guilt you beyond believe.  Sure, Anne could have went running down the aisle screaming she didn’t want to be Catholic, but she would have been severely punished by her family and probably forced to do it anyway.  Choosing a religion/faith/spiritual following is suppose to be a conscious act, not something that is forced onto you.  I feel this is a major flaw is most religions.  The get ‘em while they’re young strategy.

If I were a towel it’d feel good to be washed and folded.  Washing would get all the soapy scum and dirt I’ve cleaned off bodies.  I’d smell fresh and clean, be nice and warm from the dryer.  My fibers would get all fuzzy and soft.  Getting folded feels orgasmic.  I scream out with pleasure as I’m creased and smoothed into a small square waiting to get used again.

My wife and I have been looking for a new apartment.  Thursday, I went and viewed two apartments.  On my way back to the office after viewing the apartments I was driving towards 28 when a cop flew by in the other lane with sirens a-blaring.  I jokingly thought to myself, “gee I hope he isn’t looking for me…” and continued on my way.  As I sat at a stop sign waiting to turn, three cops zoomed out of nowhere and screeched to a halt in the middle of the intersection, facing me.  They glared at me for a second and then scrambled out of their cruisers.  “Oh god, what the hell did I do this time?!” I thought to myself.  After a few minutes of milling about and talking to each other, the cops returned to their cruisers and left.  Guess they just wanted to freak out some random kid.

Do I really have to say anything? What did you expect?

The struggling Wall Street bank has set aside £7billion for salaries and 2008 year-end bonuses, it emerged yesterday.

Each of the firm’s 443 partners is on course to pocket an average Christmas bonus of more than £3million.

The size of the pay pool comfortably dwarfs the £6.1billion lifeline which the U.S. government is throwing to Goldman as part of its £430billion bail-out.

Dailymail.co.uk article because the American media won’t cover it.